- Forum Clout
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Im not ashamed to admit it. When NPS first started I was mad hype about it and very eager to get involved. But the guests he was getting in those early shows were the A listers. Josiah himself, Boomia was on at the height of Boomia-mania. How was I gonna convince him to do a show with little old me?
I knew I had to do something creative, and during an 8 hour shift of watching paint dry I thought to try and convince Dan that I was Brother Joe. I didnt think much of it at first and doubted it would ever even work but I shot him this email.
It was just a shot in the dark. I didnt even think I would get a response at all and didnt think there was a chance he would buy it. But lo and behold...
Wow, he cant possibly think this is real right? I couldnt believe it. Fuck it, lets just go with it.
Ok, I had not taken into account that I would have to do a test call. For a minute I thought my plan was foiled. There’s no way I can do a convincing impression of Brother Joe, so my only option was to somehow convince Dan that I was...someone else? How the fuck could I be someone else and not make him suspicious as fuck that this was a ruse?
At this point I started monitoring Joe’s social media to make sure I wouldnt pretend to be him while he was clearly doing something else, and to also add some realism to it.
I had a date set for the test chat, but still had no plan on what the fuck to do.
I had actual plans to go out that Monday night (what a concept), so I had to move it back and still make it seem real. So far so good, but I had 24 hours to come up with something.
I saw that Bro Joe was just coming back from a gig in Detroit and he posted about delays and other issues, so I used that as an excuse. And I came up with a way to speak to Dan as a third party.
Right here, I thought I was fucked.
“Ok Joe, dot dot dot, sounds good”
That last email to me sounded like he was suspicious as fuck. But fuck it, I was gonna join the stream and give it my best shot.
Im probably some sort of psychopath for coming up with this, but I created a character named Mike that was a Philadelphia teamster that helps Joe get connections and hookups to music gigs in the area. My uncle is a teamster and I used to get work with him in college so I could easily speak from experience how that would all work.
I was expecting to enter the chat and have Dan be immediately suspicious of my identity. “Alright who the fuck are you” is what I was expecting, but right off the bat it appeared that I had him hook line and sinker. I gave a story about how Joe and my dad go way back in the music business so we take care of him as best we can. Shot the shit for a solid 10 minutes, brought up the Peoples Court thing and Dan tried his best to keep the peace and say that he had nothing to do with it (which I dont blame him for, if I thought I was a cunt hair away from having Joe on the pod I’d do the same thing), and then it was time to drop the nuclear bomb.
I said “Alright, I’m gonna step out and give Joe a call, he’s on his way home let me see how close he is” Dan said sure.
I stepped 3 feet away from my phone, waited like 20 seconds and came back.
“Hey Dan, I got some bad news man.”
“Whats up?”
“I just got off the phone with Joe. He said you’re a fat faggot with bitch tits, so he’s gonna have to cancel the interview.”
Now there was a very long silence. Like 10 mississippis. And Dan said something like “so thats it? its a prank?” and at this point I introduce myself as NortheastPhilly from the forum. I thought we would have a good laugh but it was awkward. I could tell he was rattled. He was kinda laughing but he seemed pissed. I started to kinda ballwash him and said I just wanted to get on the show so I did something creative, I love that we have a pod now blah blah blah. And that was pretty much that.
Dan if you’re reading this, this isn’t an attempt to motherfuck you. Just a funny story I’ve always wanted to tell in full. I never did because I think posting private messages is scummy but I think after what happened I can make an exception. I still give you credit for sticking your neck out and trying to make a cool extension of the forum. I wish you nothing but the fawkin best, and if you ever want to do a comeback show, I will gladly do it with you. I think its fun.
And it wouldnt be onaforums without kicking a nigga while he’s down. So fuck it, we’ll do it live...
production sucks.
I knew I had to do something creative, and during an 8 hour shift of watching paint dry I thought to try and convince Dan that I was Brother Joe. I didnt think much of it at first and doubted it would ever even work but I shot him this email.
It was just a shot in the dark. I didnt even think I would get a response at all and didnt think there was a chance he would buy it. But lo and behold...
Wow, he cant possibly think this is real right? I couldnt believe it. Fuck it, lets just go with it.
Ok, I had not taken into account that I would have to do a test call. For a minute I thought my plan was foiled. There’s no way I can do a convincing impression of Brother Joe, so my only option was to somehow convince Dan that I was...someone else? How the fuck could I be someone else and not make him suspicious as fuck that this was a ruse?
At this point I started monitoring Joe’s social media to make sure I wouldnt pretend to be him while he was clearly doing something else, and to also add some realism to it.
I had a date set for the test chat, but still had no plan on what the fuck to do.
I had actual plans to go out that Monday night (what a concept), so I had to move it back and still make it seem real. So far so good, but I had 24 hours to come up with something.
I saw that Bro Joe was just coming back from a gig in Detroit and he posted about delays and other issues, so I used that as an excuse. And I came up with a way to speak to Dan as a third party.
Right here, I thought I was fucked.
“Ok Joe, dot dot dot, sounds good”
That last email to me sounded like he was suspicious as fuck. But fuck it, I was gonna join the stream and give it my best shot.
Im probably some sort of psychopath for coming up with this, but I created a character named Mike that was a Philadelphia teamster that helps Joe get connections and hookups to music gigs in the area. My uncle is a teamster and I used to get work with him in college so I could easily speak from experience how that would all work.
I was expecting to enter the chat and have Dan be immediately suspicious of my identity. “Alright who the fuck are you” is what I was expecting, but right off the bat it appeared that I had him hook line and sinker. I gave a story about how Joe and my dad go way back in the music business so we take care of him as best we can. Shot the shit for a solid 10 minutes, brought up the Peoples Court thing and Dan tried his best to keep the peace and say that he had nothing to do with it (which I dont blame him for, if I thought I was a cunt hair away from having Joe on the pod I’d do the same thing), and then it was time to drop the nuclear bomb.
I said “Alright, I’m gonna step out and give Joe a call, he’s on his way home let me see how close he is” Dan said sure.
I stepped 3 feet away from my phone, waited like 20 seconds and came back.
“Hey Dan, I got some bad news man.”
“Whats up?”
“I just got off the phone with Joe. He said you’re a fat faggot with bitch tits, so he’s gonna have to cancel the interview.”
Now there was a very long silence. Like 10 mississippis. And Dan said something like “so thats it? its a prank?” and at this point I introduce myself as NortheastPhilly from the forum. I thought we would have a good laugh but it was awkward. I could tell he was rattled. He was kinda laughing but he seemed pissed. I started to kinda ballwash him and said I just wanted to get on the show so I did something creative, I love that we have a pod now blah blah blah. And that was pretty much that.
Dan if you’re reading this, this isn’t an attempt to motherfuck you. Just a funny story I’ve always wanted to tell in full. I never did because I think posting private messages is scummy but I think after what happened I can make an exception. I still give you credit for sticking your neck out and trying to make a cool extension of the forum. I wish you nothing but the fawkin best, and if you ever want to do a comeback show, I will gladly do it with you. I think its fun.
And it wouldnt be onaforums without kicking a nigga while he’s down. So fuck it, we’ll do it live...
production sucks.
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