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How that coffee taste joe?

MySecondFatterAccount

MySecondFatterAccount

Breakfast Corn
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satanssockpuppet

satanssockpuppet

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"Black Rifle coffe! Yeah! Black Rifle, that's so cool and bad-ass!" mooed Andy's woefully overweight older brother. "I drink bad-ass Black Rifle coffe, not that gay libtard faggot coffee! Fuck YOU, Biden!" he brayed. He paused to scratch at his sweaty armpit and tuck his breast flab back into the gaping arm hole of his tattered and frayed "Sons Of Anarchy" sweatshirt. "I'm gonna go on Facebook and post a picture of my bad-ass American gun coffee!".

His daughter entered the kitchen. "Uh dad, you think I could finally get my Facebook back? Everyone's asking me why I post that weird shit, and I'm tired of explaining how you got banned, and..."

"Not now" said the sweaty dolt. Joe began furiously packing at his phone's keyboard with his stumpy, sausage-like digits. "HEY BIDEN, HOW YOU LIKE THIS COFFEE, YOU TWUNT! You want my expensive Black Rifle coffee...come and take it! 82nd Airborne here! I served!" he typed. Satisfied with his post, he leaned back on his creaking kitchen chair, brushing some egg from his already-stained shirt. "Hey, don't you have school today?"

"Uh, duh dad, I told you we needed to go a half hour ago, but you were fooling around on my Facebook, and..."

"FUCK! Come on, let's go!". Grabbing her by the wrist, Joe raced out the door. They climbed into his cramped Barbie car, and Joe tore off recklessly, scraping his rim on the curb.

"FUCKING TOWN! THOSE CURBS ARE NOT UP TO CODE! Typical Dems!" he brayed. Racing through a red light, Joe weaved through the morning traffic, flipping off everyone in his path. "FUCKING TOURISTS! Goddamed Volvo, probably a libtard."

"Dad, will you please? This is so humiliating." whimpered his defeated daughter.

"GODDAMN TRAFFIC! Time to use the Joseph lane". Joe pulled on to the shoulder, and began recklessly passing everyone in his ridiculous toy car. "FUCK YOU! I SERVED!" bellowed the dullard. Approaching the exit, Joe cut off another driver, then another. Finally the school was in sight. "You can just let me out here" pleaded his embarrassed daughter.

"That's ridiculous" sputtered the obese buffoon. "Let's put on some music". Joe turned on his car stereo, and "Layla" began blasting from his tinny Chinese-made speakers. "OOOHHHLAYAAAAAAALA YAGOT THE LOVEINEED LAAAAAAYLA!" boomed the idiot as he pulled up to the school. His daughter opened the door, struggling to escape the confines of her father's ridiculously tiny car. Then, with a half-assed wave, she ran toward the school, hoping that no one she knew saw her with her embarrassing father.
 
DoctorSteveCarlisi

DoctorSteveCarlisi

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satanssockpuppet said:
"Black Rifle coffe! Yeah! Black Rifle, that's so cool and bad-ass!" mooed Andy's woefully overweight older brother. "I drink bad-ass Black Rifle coffe, not that gay libtard faggot coffee! Fuck YOU, Biden!" he brayed. He paused to scratch at his sweaty armpit and tuck his breast flab back into the gaping arm hole of his tattered and frayed "Sons Of Anarchy" sweatshirt. "I'm gonna go on Facebook and post a picture of my bad-ass American gun coffee!".

His daughter entered the kitchen. "Uh dad, you think I could finally get my Facebook back? Everyone's asking me why I post that weird shit, and I'm tired of explaining how you got banned, and..."

"Not now" said the sweaty dolt. Joe began furiously packing at his phone's keyboard with his stumpy, sausage-like digits. "HEY BIDEN, HOW YOU LIKE THIS COFFEE, YOU TWUNT! You want my expensive Black Rifle coffee...come and take it! 82nd Airborne here! I served!" he typed. Satisfied with his post, he leaned back on his creaking kitchen chair, brushing some egg from his already-stained shirt. "Hey, don't you have school today?"

"Uh, duh dad, I told you we needed to go a half hour ago, but you were fooling around on my Facebook, and..."

"FUCK! Come on, let's go!". Grabbing her by the wrist, Joe raced out the door. They climbed into his cramped Barbie car, and Joe tore off recklessly, scraping his rim on the curb.

"FUCKING TOWN! THOSE CURBS ARE NOT UP TO CODE! Typical Dems!" he brayed. Racing through a red light, Joe weaved through the morning traffic, flipping off everyone in his path. "FUCKING TOURISTS! Goddamed Volvo, probably a libtard."

"Dad, will you please? This is so humiliating." whimpered his defeated daughter.

"GODDAMN TRAFFIC! Time to use the Joseph lane". Joe pulled on to the shoulder, and began recklessly passing everyone in his ridiculous toy car. "FUCK YOU! I SERVED!" bellowed the dullard. Approaching the exit, Joe cut off another driver, then another. Finally the school was in sight. "You can just let me out here" pleaded his embarrassed daughter.

"That's ridiculous" sputtered the obese buffoon. "Let's put on some music". Joe turned on his car stereo, and "Layla" began blasting from his tinny Chinese-made speakers. "OOOHHHLAYAAAAAAALA YAGOT THE LOVEINEED LAAAAAAYLA!" boomed the idiot as he pulled up to the school. His daughter opened the door, struggling to escape the confines of her father's ridiculously tiny car. Then, with a half-assed wave, she ran toward the school, hoping that no one she knew saw her with her embarrassing father.
Click to expand...

Just. Like. Eric.

Good read, by the way.
 
Jims_Maroon_Pants

Jims_Maroon_Pants

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