Ian Fidance’s Nortonian Stand Up Bit

RoTheHo69

PULL OVER DUMB CUNT
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Queefer Sutherland

Fix me, Josh!
I honestly wouldn't be shocked to hear that Dan Soder lets the guy fuck him in the ass as a form of therapy. He's the reason all these faggots think they're recovering addicts because they got drunk a few times when they were young. Dan Soder and Joe List liked to drink and quit in their 30s, which I guess would be the time to do it. But it sounds like they just liked drinking and were able to get off of it no problem, but they both drone on about how they're alcoholics. Bobby Kelly has been sober (his vices were weed and booze apparently) since he was like 13 and refers to himself as an addict. I'm REALLY fucking glad that everyone has been calling his bullshit on that lately too. Jay went in on him on The Bonfire about it, people have been doing it on YKWD and other podcasts too and Bobby gets pretty defensive about it but just keeps lying. Jim Norton got drunk a handful of times as a kid, got sloppy and puked, as kids who drink do. I don't know if he goes to that Alan fag or if he's still going to his top secret meetings, but I'm sure Dr. Alan would love to land that whale if he hasn't already. The only ones I think were ever actually fucked up bad on drugs or booze were Ian Fidance and Rich Vos. Jordan Jensen says she was but I get the feeling she might just be a dumb bitch.

You think that's where he got his Mad Libs delivery style? He plays it with his therapist because he never had a daddy and they bond over silly names and references.

"Bobby Kelly is like a burn victim on a unicycle. Big Jay reminds me of a relief pitcher doing whippets. Ian is like a date rapist with a lacrosse scholarship. Being an alcoholic made me feel like a rocket scientist with cerebral palsy!"
 
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